afterthought:

Don’t fret though- I have 4 new guys on call… I’ll keep you posted.

my current soundtrack

ok, so there is no way to catch you up on the drama of the last few months in 6 words unless they are.  my life is a total shitshow.  ok wow, guess I can.

That’s not totally true, though. One thing is going right- my career! Finally after a year of working 60 hours a week for less than minimum wage I was offered a fabby job doing exactly what i love. And then when I was working our a two week notice- i got offered another fabby job! Then there was a counter offer.  I was like, holla! Don’t be fightin’ there’s enough of lil ‘ole me to go around- actually there isn’t- and that brings us to the “I am a walking trainwreck” portion of this long a** post.  

#1. Last time I talked to y’all I was single and travelling to DC for a wedding. Well, the wedding was lovely, and the weekend crashing with my college crush would have been perfectly fun and only slightly naughty but… Home boy had a girlfriend and totally lied about it and told me they broke up.  ME = homewrecker.

#2. So I ran into the PB a few times over the summer, and things had been a little rocky with ears (I can’t take the mixed signals boys, they confuse me!)  so one night when Ears wouldn’t come out and PB called. I went running.  And it was magical.  Like fucking magnets (a simile people!) we were back on.  I can’t deny the chemistry between us, and I don’t   didn’t want to.  So I had to break the news to sweet little Ears.  he calls the next night and I agree to meet him.  While I am waiting for him to arrive so I can break his heart and get back to rekindling the flame, the flame calls:

PB: “Where are you?
Me: I’m at Steve’s

PB: Really? We are on the way there.  Be there in 5.

SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! <<Grabs purse throws down cash begins to sprint to parking lot>> In parking lot:

Me: Oh heeeeeeeeeeey Ears!

At this point I am fucked so I I just tell him.  Look, my ex is coming- its going to be weird. We are getting back together

 

 

 

 

(this huge space indicates the LONG ASS awkward silence)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Did not go over well. “We don’t have to talk about it.” He just kept saying that over and over. wow. Big surprise mr. “I’m not ready for a relationship right now” wouldn’t communicate with me about it so I finally just said, “Ok, you don’t want to talk about fine. I’m going to get a beer and then I am not coming back.” and I went home with PB

#3. Everything was exactly the same as before with PB.  I was at his beck and call. I was being treated like shit and falling hard, again.  But he said he wanted to try so I trusted him.  But I wasn’t ready, at all.  

What happens next is shocking, scary, and still a little fuzzy.  Learn from my mistakes and NEVER let this happen to you.  So, I am pissed at PB because we have only been back together for 2 weeks and I am already getting the shaft. So I decide to go to a party with a bunch of people I don’t know and get WASTED. (Yeah, that’ll show him: ME = stupid girl).  Proceed to get hit on aggressively by strange kid with beard.  Try to get a ride home, call PB 48923094 times and he doesn’t answer.  Try to drive, realize that I will die and go back inside and pass out on a pull out couch.  Wake up next to strange aggressive beard kid at 8 am.  fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.  my. life. 

I immediately grab my keys and peace.  and call PB and apologize profusely.  He laughs it off and says we’ll talk later.  We don’t talk for 4 days.  I know something is going down.  You know that feeling you get when you know that someone is mad at you but they aren’t saying it.  Like a peach pit in your belly.  

Long story cut short- someone at the party spread the rumor that me and the strange kid- who i didn’t even know his name, got it on.  NOT TRUE!  Really get a life people, are your lives so boring that you have to make up stuff about other people? Anyway instead of agonizing over it I realize that PB and I together are toxic to my health anyway and I should have never allowed this to happen.  We break up again. Over the phone. Like grown ups.  And I think he is stoned at the time too. Nice- the slut and the stoner, we were made for each other.

Haven’t talked to him since,  Actually my friend helped me purge and delete all the old #s from my phone so I can’t call him.  And email is too lame.  

But damnit if I don’t want to call him all day everyday.  I wan’t to run to him and beg forgiveness even though I did nothing wrong.  Whatever it takes to get him back.  I feel like this:

(ummmm so hot. how can a song make you feel guilty first, then hot.  don’t get it but I like it.)

In fact after watching this I was inspired to make an entire Dirty/Filthy/Guilty playlist.  I think I am just going to embrace the whole experience as exactly that- an experience. I mean, even Maya Angelou says, “Every woman needs a youth she’s content to leave behind…. a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to retelling it in her old age….”  ok so I won’t retell all of it. But for now I will embrace my status as heartbreaker.  Even if it is just to mask my own hurt inside.  Ugh, whine much? Anyway, I hope you enjoy these songs that to me mean misbehaving:

I just realized that I broke all my own rules.  yessssss.

Ink: Say It All in Six Words: newyorker.com

Fascinating article from New Yorker Magazine! Every sentence written in six words! I may write like this forever.

Ink: Say It All in Six Words: newyorker.com

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101 Salads and Dinner with a Dude!

Until my eye-fi card arrives and I can properly record my culinary goings on read this from the New York Times earlier in the week: 101 simple salads! I LOVE this column for the simplicity of the recipes- almost like they are respectful of the natural flavors of the ingredients. I actually printed this out to keep in my recipe book for future reference and ideas.

Also I think I may have a weekly feature where Ears and I cook up something special together!  We usually cook together once a week and last night he confessed that when he cooks on his own he takes pictures of his meals and writes down the ingredients and tips that make it better and puts them in a notebook!  So basically he’s a food blogger with out a blog!  Also he is a fantastic writer and expressed an interest in contributing something to this one! I think I will call it “Dinner with a Dude.” (a and not the because we are still not labeling our weirdo relationship as dating so therefore I am still allowed to cook for other dudes- and I will!)

This week I made my favorite comfort food chicken dish (I don’t know what the actual name of it is!) and he had to guess the randy ingredients in the sauce! He got every one right-after 30 minutes of guessing and many many hints.  This is seriously the easiest recipe to make.  I like making simple things with him because he is a boy and probably won’t cook it again if it is too complicated like our relationship.

No Name Favorite Chicken

In a bowl combine one small bottle of Thousand Island Salad Dressing, 1 Packet Lipton Dry Onion Soup mix, and 1/2 cup Apricot preserves.  Pour over 4 boneless skinless chicken breasts (I have also made this with bone in chicken, just increased the cooking time by about  10 min).  Bake at 350* for 45 minutes. Done

I served this with wild rice and steamed kale.  This was my first attempt with Kale but I loved it! And he had two generous helpings.  It is way better than mushy collard greens- and that is hard for me to say coming from the deep south where collards are king! I was really confused by the whole “massaging” of the kale. basically I just squeezed some lemon juice over the giant pile of green and rubbed each leaf with my fingers a bit- may have been a completely unnesessary step, but I felt very epicurean doing it!

Stay tuned- photos coming soon, I suspect of lots of salads!

Do any of you know the name of that chicken recipe?

Hiatus Over!

I am the worst blogger ever- need to work on this sh*T!  but after more than a month of living life and not reflecting on it I have lots to say. Also I have been inspired by this FABBY new blog I found today (gf knows how to “do work”) I literally just sat and read all her blog posts- really ALL of them.  By doing so I found a recipe that I am making for Ears tomorrow night (will catch you up on that later), ogled photos of  her yummy roommate and picked up some man trapping techniques (except I will probably not injure my knee on purpose)!

Also I have been currently obsessed with these food blogs: Homegirl, B+B, SnackFace, and of course KERF (the one that started it all).  So after a few months of stalking around perusing the food blogging  atmosphere, I have decided to incorporate my daily eatings on this site.  I am just so truly inspired  by this community that I have changed the way I eat and I want to keep it that way with their help and support- check back in soon for an updated about page! 

But before this amazing blog transformation can happen I need a few things:  

#1 an eye fi card- cuz this irresponsible student’s computer is lacking in the free memory dept.

#2 advice from you guys! I have no clue how to get readers, join blogging groups, or get advertising on my blog, or get free shiz to give away!

Also I should probably catch you up on some different areas of my life in which I have made significant progress.

Academically-  I finished my first year of Graduate School!  With a GPA of 4.0 by the way! Now I am busting my butt to try to figure out a thesis topic that won’t bore me out of my mind as a work on it for the next 18 months!

Physically- I have NEVER EVER been in better shape in my whole entire life!  I can run farther and faster than my adorb friend Schiffy (see “socially”) who played collegiate soccer and I am comfortable in the front row of my vinyasa (HOOOOT 94*) yoga class for 2 90 min sessions a week. Thats coming really far for a girl this time last year never worked out and lived off margaritas and barbeque sammies (needless to say I have lost a few 30 lbs).

Professionally- My dream job is in the cross hairs!  My fabby internship is going soooooooo well!  Did I mention I have an office and a title- As soon as that damn hiring freeze is lifted, I will be getting paid to do what I LOVE! but currently I am still getting paid (ha!) to stand behind this computer and pretend to sell overpriced celebrity crap to suburban mommies with Louis Vuitton bags.  (instead I write this blog!)

Socially- I have amazing friends who are probably part of the reason I haven’t been blogging much- they are just so cool, that we can’t be apart for more than a day without feeling sad!  The PC has been in full swing this past month adding a new member, Schiffy- who basically lives at my house and may be dating my brother?! oddly enough I’m cool with it though.  She’s kind of bitchin’. And HwB has become the best bud a girl can ask for- He even went to yoga with me last week!

And of course, what you have all been waiting for: Romantically- Oh dear, when it rains it pours kittens.  I went on one HORRIBLE I’m not a slut first date with the guy from Dammit Janet where he proceeds to inform me that he was fired from his last job as a teacher because of his pending phelony assault charge- um CHECK PLEASE.

After that disaster there were a few more random chill nights with ears where we typically make dinner/smooch. But he did introduce me to his friends and I introduced him to my brother at the CRAZY party we threw while the ‘rents were out of town (Like high school even though we are in our 20s). 

But then this other guy came into the pic- he’s a friend of the bro and has gorgey blue eyes and curly hair.  The first night I met him when HwB asked him to be on the trivia team there were sparks but I kind of ignored them until I could ‘splain to Ears that I was just not ready for a relationship right now.  Then ALL my friends went out of town for the 4th weekend and guess who was home to keep me co!? Blue eyes and I had a great time breaking my fast (after the crazy party I gave up draking for 2 weeks on a bet that I couldn’t do it) and flirting like crazy.  We smooched in his car.  Kind of random, but what ever It was FUN! Also it might have happened again, one time, maybe. 

This week however has caused some confusion in my mind. Even though there is no label on my relationship with Ears- it is becoming increasingly more “datey,” and frequent, and intimate.  He even cooked for me one night!  So I feel guilty for hooking up with that other cutie.  And the signals coming from Ears are mixed- you can’t say one thing and act the opposite buddy! We have a date tomorrow and I might have to ask for clarification on some things, like, “what did you mean when you gave me your two requirements for a girlfriend?” I’ll let you know how it goes.

Dammit Janet! and Skinny Dipping!

The best way to guage the success of your weekend is when you go into your regular coffee place on Monday morning and they tell you that you look tired! This totally happened today so I added a shot of espresso to my coffee and dabbed some concealer under my eyes to hide my lack of sleep from the weekend! Woot Woot!

I totally planned to be more chill this weekend due to the fact that I have neglected my educational responsibilties lately.  But everytime I say that I will not go out on a Friday night to stay in and do homework I always give in and end up going out even harder!  This friday was no exception…

I worked all day and then volunteered at an art opening- spending the whole evening serving wine and macking on this cutie in suspenders, holla! But I was totally c-blocked by this other crazy dude and lost my little cutie. Eff.

After the event was over we headed to a chill bar and decided that we must patronize the newest place in town- Dammit Janet.  a 70′s themed dance club that played that Ramone’s movie, Rock n Roll High School while spinning random late 70′s early 80′s beats.  Love Love Love!  I wished I had a camera that was small enough to take into places like that, but i might have hated myself the next morning for taking embarrassing pics! After fully exhausting myself dancing and flirting with “the intern” with no success (he will NOT be back), I somehow managed to get a second wind and find the most attractive guy there, the waiter.  DAMM-IT JAN-IT was he hot.

(Think Jason Lewis as Smith Jarrod from SATC before the haircut.)

Oh yeah

 

The waiter wanted to go swimming- but I had no suit UMMM DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT WAS GONNA STOP ME?!  But I did have to convince my friend. She was diggin on the waiter’s best friend who looked like some yummy indie rockstar.  So, not much convincing was needed.  But i did feel a teensy bit responsible since i was the sober driver. so i asked if she wanted to go home- nope. HOLLA!  she made out with her yummy in the pool while  I swam nakey and happy until LOTS more people showed up including the suspender clad sweetie from the opening!  What What?! then I had a slight dilemma.  Then I looked at Jason Lewis and said “what suspenders?” 

The rest of the story is just history (of the yummy kind- don’t you want to know!)  except for when I had to roll up into work on Saturday in borrowed clothes and popping advil like it was my job.  Then for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to go out AGAIN!- and guess what- IT WAS! You can read lovely recaps here and here.  My new friends are super fun!  I wish I had had more energy- Girls- next time I will rally and we will OWN Karaoke.  But I will not wear an Alice Cooper Costume, ever.

Now seriously, I must do some school work- but some good stuff is going to happen this upcoming weekend, I don’t know what yet, but it will involve meeting Paul Stanley from KISS! (my job is so weird…)

Its National Running Day!!

let's go!

 

Its National Running Day!  I was going to rest after a hilly 5 miler yesterday, but no way!  Join me and the rest of the country by running together! 

Running has seriously helped me these last few months to deal with relationship problems, career disappointments, and financial stress.  Whenever something goes wrong I can usually tie my running shoes pop some tunes on the ipod and just put one foot in front of the other.  Then the solution to whatever is plaguing me usually magically appears. 

So, go run! Its magical.